


from james potter's phone

by mohritz, shoelaces



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Multi, texting au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-07-15 07:31:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7213435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mohritz/pseuds/mohritz, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shoelaces/pseuds/shoelaces
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(2.18am)<br/>james: ur father was a glorified furry</p><p>(2.19am)<br/>teddy bear: please go to sleep</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> someone stop us

**Chat: future brother in law (Scorpius Malfoy)**

_future brother in law:_ hey, James?

 _james:_ hi tiny blonde one whats up

 _future brother in law:_ I thought that was Luna

 _james:_ touche

 _james:_ you can be tiny blonde one number two

 _james_ : anyway what up scorpy scorp

 _future brother in law:_ I was wondering if it would be okay to ask out Al. I didn't want to ask your dad, he's kind of scary.

 _james:_ YES DO IT

 _future brother in law:_ Really?

 _james:_ YES WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG DO THE THING

 _future brother in law:_ Okay! I'll let you know how it goes.

 _james:_ YES DO 

 _james:_ HE'LL SAY YES BTW 

 

**Group Chat: scorbus shippers anonymous**

Members: 

 _james_ (James Potter)

 _teddy bear_ (Teddy Lupin)

 _the clever one_ (Rose Weasley)

 _smol_ (Hugo Weasley)

 _moon moon_ (Lily Potter)

 _twin 1_ (Lorcan Scamander)

 _twin 2_ (Lysander Scamander)

 

(2.06am)

 _james:_ GUYS

 _the clever one:_ james its 2am

 _james:_ BUT ROSE

 _the clever one:_ no text us again at a reasonable hour

(7.30am)

 _james:_ GUYS

 _the clever one:_ if this is just bc they smiled at each other again i will END YOU  
 _  
moon moon:_ there better be a love confession this time _  
  
james:_ wink emoticon   
 _  
teddy bear:_ WHAT _  
  
smol:_ ohhhhhhhh my goooooooood _  
  
the clever one: _hugo pls _  
  
james:_ **[screenshot attached]** _  
  
teddy bear:_ IT'S REAL _  
  
twin 1:_ great _  
  
twin 2:_ i swear our mum predicted this 6yrs ago _  
  
the clever one:_ MORE EXCITEMENT FROM YOU TWO PLEASE _  
  
twin 1:_ no __  
  
twin 2: no

 _twin 1:_ why am i here 

 _teddy bear:_ bit existential for half 7 mate 

 _twin 1:_ no seriously is this a form of torture

 _moon moon:_ yes we all have to suffer al and scorp's pining so u do too

 _twin 1:_ ugh

 _james:_ ooh good point we should add more people to this more need to suffer

 _teddy bear:_...im dating someone evil 

 _james:_ >:) _  
_ _  
_ **pretty blonde has been added to the chat**  
 _  
pretty blonde:_ Are you all discussing my son? _  
_ _  
pretty blonde:_ What is this chat? _  
  
moon moon:_ MR MALFOY HI  
 _  
the clever one:_ JAMES WHAT THE FUCK _  
  
the clever one:_ *heck _  
  
james:_ I HAD THE NUMBER AS PRETTY BLONDE I THOUGHT IT WAS VIC _  
  
teddy bear:_ am i not pretty enough _  
  
james:_ let me show u how pretty u are wink emoticon  _  
  
_ _the clever one:_ james just use ;) instead of writing 'wink emoticon'

 _james:_ wink emoticon

 _the clever one:_ ffs  _  
_ _  
smol:_ my eyes!!! my poor eyes!!! _  
_  
 _the clever one:_ NOT NOW NOT HERE __  
  
 **pretty blonde has left the chat**

 _james:_ thank fuck that was emotionally scarring im glad thats over

**Chat: future brother in law (Scorpius Malfoy)  
**

_future brother in law:_ He said yes!

 _james:_ SSSHHHIT

 **Chat: THE MOTHERSHIP (Ginny Weasley)**  
  
 _james:_ mum guess what  
  
 _the MOTHERSHIP:_ You're going to come visit your poor old mother and make your dad shut up about quidditch?  
  
 _james:_ ...no  
  
 _james:_ SCORPIUS ASKED ALBUS OUT  
  
 _james:_ (but I will come visit you  <3)  
  
 _THE MOTHERSHIP:_ That's wonderful! I'll tell your father - and yes, do. We miss you around here.

 _james:_ <3 <3 <3 

 

**Chat: snakey mcsnakeface (Albus Potter)**

_james:_ jsyk me and teddy are still the superior couple  
  
 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ was there a gc about you??  
  
 _james:_ who told u abt the gc  
  
 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ i offered hugo sweets to tell me why you all keep grinning at your phones  
  
 _james:_ dammit hugo  
  
 _james:_ also me and teddy didn't need a gc bc we didn't dance around our feelings for THREE FUCKING YEARS  
  
 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ only bc neither of you have any boundaries  
  
 _james:_ true  
  
 _james:_ but srsly i love u and i hope ur happy  
  
 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ i am  
  
 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ (love you too)

 

**Chat: scorbus shippers anonymous**

**james added snakey mcsnakeface and future brother in law to the chat**

_james:_ you guys know you might as well be added

 _teddy bear:_ CONGRATS LOVEBIRDS TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH

 _teddy bear:_ me and james are still superior tho fyi

 _james:_ thats what i told them

 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ thanks ted much appreciated 

 _future brother in law:_  What is this?

 _the clever one:_ u didnt know about the gc?

 _james:_ oh oops i only told al

 _future brother in law:_ You had a group chat to gossip about us?

 _james:_ yeah lol

 _future brother in law:_ Fair enough, we were pretty frustrating now I look back on it

 _smol:_ YEAH

 _smol:_ YOU WERE

 _smol:_ IN BETWEEN WALKING IN ON TEDDY AND JAMES MAKING OUT AND YOU TWO THE HOUSE DURING SUMMERS WAS A NIGHTMARE

 _moon moon:_ wow thats the most hugo's ever said in the chat

 _the clever one:_ just so u know he just threw his phone at the sofa and went outside 

 _james:_ oh shit i forgot that happened

 _moon moon:_ he walked in on you? lmao

 _teddy bear:_ poor lil guy

 _james:_ it was only making out 

 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ speaking of, thats what scorp and i are gonna go do

 _future brother in law:_ We are?

 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ yep bye 

 _james:_ ew 

 _teddy bear:_ young love

 _james:_ dont encourage them u enabler

 _teddy bear:_ we're just as gross

 _james:_ true tbh we're probs grosser

 _the clever one:_ hugo just shouted 'you are'

james: THANKS HUGO

 _james:_ (it was in all caps cause i was shouting back)

 _the clever one:_ yes thank u james

 _james:_ anyway

 _james:_ THUS ENDS TODAY'S SCORBUS SHIPPERS ANONYMOUS SESSION

 _james:_ I'M GONNA GO KISS TEDDY NOW

 _james:_ BYE

 _the clever one:_ hugo just screamed again


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we've finished for summer now, so prepare yourselves for more chapters of whatever the fuck this is

**Chat: smol (Hugo Weasley)**

_james:_ oi hugo i think the twins are up to something do u know what  
  
 _smol:_ how should i know  
  
 _james:_ idk ur always staring at lorcan  
  
 _smol:_ lysander actually :/  
  
 _james:_ how can u tell the difference???  
  
 _smol:_ they don’t really look that similar when you know them well  
  
 _james:_ do i need to start another gc  
  
 _james:_ u can be in this one  
  
 _smol:_ why are you so obsessed with all of our love lives  
  
 _james:_ guess i just love love :)  <3  
  
 _smol:_ s t o p

 

 **james has created the chat: "one of the twins and hugo 2gether 5ever"  
** ****  
 _james has added: the clever one, snakey mcsnakeface, future brother in law, teddy bear, moon moon, twin 2, smol  
_  
 _james:_ help guys we gotta get hugo and lysander together   
  
_the clever one:_ um  
  
 _twin 2:_ um  
  
 _smol:_ JAMES  
  
 _james:_ SHIT WRONG TWIN

 _smol:_ JAMES FOR FUCK'S SAKE EVERY TIME JUST CHILL OUT AND STOP LIVING YOUR LIFE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH ME  
  
 _moon moon_ : should we all just forget this happened??? it's in the past???  
  
 _twin 2:_ lily we kind of need to talk abt this  
  
 _moon moon:_ talk abt what??? nothing happened!!!  
  
 **smol has left the group**  
  
 **twin 2 has left the group**  
  
 _james:_ ok look so I fucked up there  
  
 _the clever one:_ on a MONUMENTAL level  
  
 _james:_ now is not the time 4 ur big ass words rosie  
  
 **james added twin 1**  
  
 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ omg just leave it  
  
 _future brother in law:_ Hugo just left the common room  
  
 _future brother in law:_ He may be on his way to kill you  
  
 _future brother in law:_ Oh wait, he's going to the kitchen  
  
 _james:_ comfort food!!! a fantastic idea!!  
  
 _moon moon:_ see why can't u just leave ur supportiveness at that  
  
 _twin 1:_ i'm so lost

 

 **Chat: smol (Hugo Weasley)**  
  
 _james:_ hugo mate im genuinely really sorry  
  
 _smol:_ its ok  
  
 _smol:_ i just don't really know what to do now  
  
 _james:_ i can get teddy to fix it hes better at that than me  
  
 _smol:_ hes better at a lot of things. mainly social situations tbh  
  
 _james:_ i deserved that  
  
 _james:_ let me talk to teddy im sure he can fix it  
  
 _james:_ mate ily and im sorry again ok, u know you can always talk to me about anything even if u don't ask me for advice anymore yeah?  
  
 _smol:_ yeah  <3

 

 **Chat: teddy bear (Teddy Lupin)**  
  
 _james:_ make everything better  
  
 _teddy bear:_ do u mean like  
  
 _teddy bear:_ with ;)  
  
 _james:_ I meant with emotional talking and rom com stereotypes but all suggestions are welcome  
  
 _james:_ can u somehow abuse ur hufflepuff head boy status  
  
 _teddy bear:_ idek how that would work  
  
 _teddy bear:_ 10 points from hufflepuff bc hugo has a crush and no one will talk abt it??  
  
 _james:_ WELL WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT

 

**Chat: one of the twins and hugo 2gether 5ever**

_twin 1:_ ok it has just struck me that I qualify as one of the twins  
  
 _twin 1:_ pls tell me this is abt my brother  
  
 _moon moon:_ what do u have against hugo  
  
 _twin 1:_ nothing but I think my brother likes him  
  
 _james:_ THANK FUCK  
  
 _the clever one:_ you're not off the hook yet sonny I will fuck you up  
  
 _future brother in law:_ Hugo is back in the common room but pointed straight at me and said "SAY NOTHING"  
  
 _future brother in law:_ Did you guys get this from your mum bc albus couldn't be scary if he tried  
  
 _the clever one:_ absolutely  
  
 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ i'll pretend I didn't see that  
  
 _twin 1:_ you guys have got to stop adding me to these groupchats what the fuck  
  
 _teddy bear:_ maybe we should stop interfering?  
  
 _teddy bear:_ scorbus worked out without our help  
  
 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ true  
  
 _james:_ BUT IT TOOK THREE YEARS  
  
 _moon moon:_ here I present reason #394 why james is not a hufflepuff  
  
 _moon moon:_ patience young grasshopper  
  
 _james:_ I'M OLDER THAN YOU  
  
 _moon moon:_ and i'm smarter so shut up

 

 **Chat: twin 2 (Lysander Scamander)**  
  
 _james:_ dude   
  
_james:_ dude   
  
_james:_ dude  
  
 _twin 2:_ hey james  
  
 _james:_ dude  
  
 _twin 2:_ what do you want  
  
 _james:_ srsly i fucked up and im sorry but if u have a thing for hugo pls tell the child he is Smol and Scared  
  
 _twin 2:_ the famous james potter interfering again  
  
 _james:_ no pls i just want to help i love hugo  
  
 _james:_ on a rly serious note he is v important to me and i want him 2 be happy  
  
 _twin 2:_ i do like him  
  
 _twin 2:_ i guess i'll tell him, lorc has been bugging me tbh  
  
 _james:_ yes! go twin 1  
  
 _twin 2:_ james the fuck  
  
 _james:_ twin 2 i knew that

 

**Chat: the clever one (Rose Weasley)**

  
_james:_ did I do a bad thing  
  
 _the clever one:_ you know you did  
  
 _james:_ damn I was hoping u would be encouraging  
  
 _james:_ u still love me right  
  
 _the clever one:_ yes obviously  
  
 _the clever one:_ look we all fuck up  
  
 _the clever one:_ remember me and viktor krum's son  
  
 _james:_ OH YEAH THAT POOR KID  
  
 _james:_ he asked to go back to bulgaria that was fucking hilarious u really are terrifying  
  
 _the clever one:_ in retrospect 'YOUR DAD WANTED TO BANG MY MUM YOU BROOM FLYING GOBLIN' may not have been the best response  
  
 _james:_ he only wanted directions to the library rosie  
  
 _james:_ u betrayed him :(  
  
 _the clever one:_ I shouldn't have brought that up again

**Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD**

_james added the clever one, snakey mcsnakeface, future brother in law, smol, moon moon, teddy bear, twin 1, twin 2  
_  
 _james:_ i have created a romance free zone  
  
 _james:_ ur probs all wondering why I have gathered u here today  
  
 _james:_ WELL  
  
 _james:_ this is a reminder of that time with rose and viktor krum's son  
  
 _the clever one:_ haven't you done enough  
  
 _smol:_ NEVER FORGET  
  
 _moon moon:_ y'all gotta stop  
  
 _twin 1:_ I want to be out of these group chats  
  
 _james:_ there is no out  
  
 _james:_ we are all around  
  
 **twin 1 has left the chat**

 _james:_ lmao @ lysander

 _james:_ SHIT LORCAN******

 _teddy bear:_ james honey its time to maybe put your phone down for a bit 

 _james:_ im so sorry

 

**Chat: smol (Hugo Weasley)**

_smol:_ james 

 _james:_ yeah?

 _smol:_ lysander and i had a chat

 _james:_ oh!! good??

 _smol:_ yeah, we're gonna go to hogsmeade next weekend :D

 _james:_ AHHHHH!!

 _james:_ yes hugo im so happy for u <3 <3 <3 

 _smol:_ thank you! and we do sorta owe it to you in a way. plus you're the best cousin anyway (shhh dont tell lils)

 _james:_ HUGO YOU'LL MAKE ME CRY STOP IT 

 _smol:_ <3

 

**Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD**

_james:_ HUGO SAID I WAS THE BEST COUSIN

 _moon moon:_ HUGO THE FUCK

 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ dude 

 _smol:_ JAMES YOU ASSHOLE

 _the clever one:_ hugo language

 _james:_ hugo pls

 _twin 2:_ fucking hell get me out 

 _james:_ dont lie lysandy you love it 

 _smol:_ hey you got it right this time

 _teddy bear:_ hes always known, hugo, he just likes to act like AN UTTER IMBECILE 

 _james:_ teddy pls

 _twin 2:_ you're all ridiculous

 _james:_ except hugo

 _twin 2:_ yeah except hugo

 _twin 2:_ <3 

 _james:_ SHHHHHIITT

 

**Chat: teddy bear (Teddy Lupin)**

_james:_ next pair: lily and lorcan

 _teddy bear:_ no you fucking dont

 _james:_ sad emoji


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello we're back with another chapter of whatever the hell this is (sorry it's so late we've been on holiday n stuff!)

**Chat: teddy bear (Teddy Lupin)  
**  
_james:_ oi oi teddy boy  
  
_teddy bear:_ i'm breaking up with you  
  
_james:_ HAHAHAHAHA  
  
_james_ : don't joke about that  
  
_teddy bear:_ ok ok fine i would never  
  
_teddy bear:_ did you actually want to ask me abt something??  
  
_james:_ rose's bday is soon and I need to get her something  
  
_teddy bear:_ I got her a muggle magic kit thing  
  
_teddy bear_ : it's gonna freak her out  
  
_james_ : ah shit I shoulda thought of that

 **Chat: smol (Hugo Weasley)  
**  
_james:_ can u name me some things that rose hasn't got  
  
_smol:_ patience for you probably  
  
_james:_ sad emoji  
  
_james:_ after everything I've done u would still treat me this way  
  
_smol:_ yes

 **Chat: super secrets rose don't look**  
  
_James has added: snakey mcsnakeface (Albus Potter), smol (Hugo Weasley), moon moon (Lily Potter), mione (Hermione Granger), ronaldo (Ron Weasley)_  
  
_james:_ hi gang what do I get rose  
  
_moon moon:_ first of all have u accidentally added her to this chat  
  
_james:_ no  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ plot twist  
  
_james:_ I've grown as a person

 _james:_ anyway snake boy and snake boy's bf what did u get rose  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ dude i have a name  
  
_james:_ yeah  
  
_james:_ snake boy  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ just for that im not telling u what we got rose  
  
_future brother in law:_ We got her a necklace thing  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ SCORP  
  
_future brother in law:_ Be helpful, Al  
  
_mione:_ James, love, why am I in this chat?  
  
_james:_ TELL ME WHAT TO BUY UR DAUGHTER  
  
_ronaldo:_ science  
  
_mione:_ Ronald, you can't just buy science.  
  
_ronaldo:_ science  
  
_mione:_ He's been down at the pub if you couldn't tell. Match or something.  
  
_smol:_ mum this is embarassing pls leave  
  
_ronaldo:_ science  
  
_moon moon:_ he sounds like a record player  
  
_moon moon:_ uncle ron you should release a mixtape  
  
_smol:_ NO HE SHOULDNT  
  
_smol:_ PARENTS LEAVE NOW  
  
_mione:_ We'll stop embarassing you now Hugo. Be sure you're keeping up with your schoolwork! ;)  
  
_smol:_ mum pls  
  
**mione has left the chat**  
  
**ronaldo has left the chat**  
  
_smol_ : NEVER DO THAT AGAIN

 _james:_ would she like a club penguin subscription  
  
_smol:_ what the fuck is that  
  
_moon moon:_ idk but i'd put money n the answer being no  
  
_james:_ it's v gr8 she'd love it  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ i just looked it up she'd hate it  
  
_future brother in law:_ james she's not 5  
  
_james:_ she might surprise u  
  
**smol has added twin 1 and twin 2**  
  
**twin 1 has left the chat**  
  
_twin 2:_ james is wrong  
  
_twin 2:_ also what is this chat  
  
_james:_ i'm honestly feeling so attacked rn  
  
_moon moon:_ did you come out to have a good time  
  
_james:_ what  
  
_teddy bear:_ guys leave james alone  
  
_james:_ thanks bae heart emoji  
  
_teddy bear:_ i changed my mind be merciless

 **Chat: scarface (Harry Potter)  
**  
_james:_ ok so here's the sitch  
  
_scarface:_ I don't even want to know what this is about.  
  
_scarface:_ OK I kind of do.  
  
_james:_ when has it ever been something bad  
  
_scarface:_ You dropped cousin Louis down a well.  
  
_james:_ haha yeah  
  
_james:_ am i allowed back in their house yet  
  
_james_ : i mean he was fine  
  
_scarface_ : Bill is trying to get that ban revoked.  
  
_james:_ ok back on topic what do i get rose for her birthday  
  
_scarface:_ She likes Muggle Studies. Get her something weird and muggly.  
  
_james:_ THANKS

 **Chat: the mothership (Ginny Potter)  
**  
_james:_ won't u take me to  
  
_james:_ MUGGLE TOWN  
  
_the mothership:_ Is this about Rose's birthday?  
  
_james:_ YES I WANT TO BUY HER SOMETHING MUGGLY  
  
_the mothership:_ Great idea! I'll take you to London when I can.  
  
_james:_ thank

 **Chat: super secrets rose don't look  
**  
_james:_ hey guys  
  
_james:_ SURPRISE PARTY???  
  
_moon moon:_ james we've tried before  
  
_smol:_ nothing gets past rose  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ to be fair it was my fault the first time i caved and told her  
  
_future brother in law:_ You didn't cave, there was no pressure  
  
_future brother in law:_ You just blurted it out over breakfast  
  
_moon moon:_ i thought james was gonna cry  
  
_james:_ IT'LL WORK THIS YEAR GUYS DW  
  
_twin 2:_ will it though  
  
_teddy bear:_ i'm willing to listen to the plan  
  
_james:_ i actually don't have a plan i wasn't expecting to get this far  
  
_teddy bear_ : of course not  
  
_twin 2:_ i actually can't believe i'm getting involved in his but  
  
_twin 2:_ you could pretend to ruin a fake surprise party and then have a real one and she won't expect it  
  
_james:_ YES LORCAN THAT'S WHY UR IN THIS CHAT  
  
_james:_ GOOD SHIT  
  
_twin 2:_ i'm lysander and i think you know that

 _james:_ haha yeah ofc  
  
_james:_ srsly?  
  
_twin 2:_ yeah  
  
_teddy bear:_ anyway look that plan might actually work  
  
_teddy bear:_ we can use albus' inability to keep a secret for good  
  
_future brother in law:_ We do have to organise two separate parties  
  
_james:_ we need a theme  
  
_smol:_ james can't pick the theme  
  
_james:_ fine smarty pants what would u pick if u know her so well  
  
_smol:_ i do know her so well she's literally my sister  
  
_smol:_ i'll think of something  
  
_james:_ lysander can help u wink emoji  
  
_smol:_ i can flirt with lysander by myself thanks james  
  
_twin 2:_ he can  
  
_teddy bear:_ awww  
  
_james:_ teddy do u need some affection  
  
_moon moon:_ KEEP THAT OFF THE CHAT THANKS GUYS  
  
_future brother in law:_ Why this why always this  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ scorp i feel obliged to say something flirtatious  
  
_future brother in law:_ Go  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ i'm not going to bc i have acknowledged that this is not the place  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ take note guys  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ scorp check your texts from me  
  
_future brother in law:_ .....  
  
_future brother in law:_ Be here in ten  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ five  
  
_james:_ WE DONT NEED TO SEE UR TEXTS TO KNOW UR BEING GROSS SNAKE BOY AND BF  
  
  
**Chat: smol (Hugo Weasley)**  
  
_james:_ everything set up for real party?  
  
_smol:_ yeah. albus is abt to "spoil everything" on the gc  
  
_james:_ BRILLIANT  
  
  
**Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD**  
  
_james_ : 

  
_james:_ HAP BIRTH ROSIE I LOVE U  
  
_smol:_ what the fuck  
  
_the clever one:_ aw thanks james ily too 

 _teddy bear:_ that is the ugliest graphic u could have picked (happy birthday rosie we love ya)  
  
_the clever one:_ (thanks ted  <3)  
  
_james:_ EXACTLY  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ yeah happy birthday cousin, when ya coming over?  
  
_the clever one:_ im coming over?  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ yeah? for ur party?  
  
_james:_ SNAKE BOY  
  
_future brother in law:_ Really, Al, again?  
  
_smol:_ fucks sake albus  
  
_the clever one:_ ....was this supposed to be a surprise  
  
_james:_ YES  
  
_james:_ AND MY DARLING BROTHER HAS JUST RUINED IT  
  
_james:_ I AM GOING TO GO AND HEX HIM NOW BRB  
  
  
**Chat: teddy bear (Teddy Lupin)**  
  
_teddy bear:_ dont overdo it  
  
_james:_ too much?  
  
_teddy bear:_ yeah  
  
**Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD**  
  
_james:_ I AM NOT GOING TO HIT YOU ALBUS I AM SORRY  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ no prob dickhead  
  
_james:_ HEY THERE NOW  
  
**Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD**  
  
_james:_ ok everything's going to plan  
  
_the clever one:_ not really????  
  
_james:_ haha autocorrect  
  
_james:_ *we ruined the surprise  
  
_the clever one_ : james you are so fucking weird sometimes  
  
_james:_ it's endearing  
  
_teddy bear:_ it kinda is  
  
_the clever one:_ look i'll still come to the party it's v sweet of you to do this  
  
_james:_ smiley emoji  
  
  
**Chat: teddy bear**  
  
_james:_ ted i nearly spoilt everything  
  
_teddy bear:_ you dragged it back!  
  
_james:_ does she suspect anything?  
  
_teddy bear:_ nah she really does think albus is that stupid  
  
_james:_ he is that stupid we just used it to our advantage  
  
_teddy bear:_ be nice  
  
_james:_ ok fine he is super smart and everyone's favourite potter  
  
_teddy bear:_ he's not my favourite   
  
_teddy bear:_ ok stop giggling she'll hear you  
  
_james:_ she's not gonna get here for a while yet  
  
_james:_ and i can't help it u flatter me so  
  
_teddy bear:_ damn your adorable face  
  
  
**Chat: smol**  
  
_smol:_ ok rose just texted me saying she's coming back up to the ravenclaw common room  
  
_smol:_ she's kinda pissed no one was in the room of requirement  
  
_james:_ ah well all will be explained shortly  
  
_james:_ how did we manage to clear this room anyway  
  
_smol:_ the weasleys potters and friends make up like 90% of this school  
  
_smol:_ also rose is kinda popular  
  
_james:_ everybody wants to party with rose huh  
  
  
**Chat: future brother in law**  
  
_james:_ does she look surprised??? i feel like i'm too close to this to judge it  
  
_james:_ like an artist  
  
_future brother in law:_ She looks surprised yeah  
  
_future brother in law:_ She probably thought you'd have a shirt on  
  
_james:_ i overheated  
  
_future brother in law:_ No you didn't  
  
_future brother in law:_ Nice work on the party though, everything looks great  
  
  
**Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD**  
  
_the clever one:_ ok who came up with this  
  
_the clever one:_ i was genuinely surprised  
  
_smol:_ LYSANDER  
  
_the clever one:_ wow you're a clever one lysander  
  
_twin 2:_ thanks rose

 _james:_ LYSANDER HAS BEEN ACKNOWLEDGED BY THE CLEVER ONE

 _james:_ ALL HAIL LYSANDER

 _the clever one:_ james shut the fuck up (<3)  


**Chat: teddy bear (Teddy Lupin)**

_teddy bear:_ this turned out so well, im so proud of you 

 _teddy bear:_ and i love you so much ok?

 _james:_ love you too <3 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE SO SORRY

**Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD**  
  
_future brother in law:_ They've made the Great Hall nice this year  
  
_james:_ YES IT'S SO LOVELY  
  
_james:_ JUST BEAUTIFUL  
  
_twin 2:_ this is a war memorial james can you chill a little  
  
_smol:_ this happens every year  
  
_smol:_ james is uncomfortable with the emotion  
  
_moon moon:_ dad always cries and it's always awful  
  
_twin 2:_ oh  
  
_the clever one:_ everyone cries and it's shitty  
  
_smol:_ it's worse for fred ii and roxie  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ poor kids  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ scorp is your dad here?  
  
_future brother in law:_ Nah he came in my first year and got hexed a few times and called a murderer  
  
_future brother in law:_ He decided it's better to stay away  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ i think he should come  
  
_future brother in law:_ Why??  
  
_james:_ oh al  
  
_james:_ we had this conversation  
  
_james:_ this isn't flirting  
  
_future brother in law:_ No I want to know  
  
**twin 2 has added twin 1**  
  
_twin 2:_ lorcan do something  
  
_twin 1:_ what  
  
_future brother in law:_ Albus  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ well he sort of owes it to people??  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ he did a lot of bad things  
  
_future brother in law:_ He was being ATTACKED  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ look scorp  
  
**future brother in law has left the chat**  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ fuck  
  
_moon moon:_ ah shit  
  
_teddy bear:_ james sweetie no don't cry  
  
_james:_ it's fine everyone will think it's bc of the war  
  
_smol:_ albus go talk to your boyfriend  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ i really didn't mean to make him upset  
  
_smol:_ well you fucked up now make it right  
  
_the clever one:_ ok look we can sort this out  
  
_twin 2:_ lorc come on you're all calm tell us what to do  
  
_twin 1:_ D:  
  
  
**teddy bear has created the group Time to Save A Relationship  
  
**_james has been added to the group_  
  
_james:_ hey  
  
_teddy bear:_ yo  
  
_james:_ who else is here?  
  
_teddy bear:_ rose, lil, hugo, the twins  
  
_james:_ ok  
  
_teddy bear:_ i didnt realise how serious this was. al wont leave his room now and scorpius just looks blank  
  
_teddy bear:_ i dont even know how to describe it, theres just nothing there   
  
_the clever one:_ i tried to coax al out with the promise of chocolate frogs but to no avail

 _smol:_ they need to talk it out tbh 

 _twin 2:_ thats not gonna be easy 

 _smol:_ im just saying

 _teddy bear:_ ok take it easy young ones pls dont argue we dont need another couple miscommunicating

 _smol:_ sorry ly

 _twin 2:_ its cool  <3

 _james:_ cant we just make them sing to each other at karaoke at the three broomsticks or smth 

 _james:_ get some t-swizzle going 

 _james:_ YOU BELONG WITH MEEEEEE

 _moon moon:_ james nope

 _james:_ crying emoji

 _teddy bear:_ i think we just need to hope they talk to each other

 _smol:_ we all have to be downstairs for the service in about an hour anyways, they might make up then

 _teddy bear:_ good point

 _teddy bear:_ fingers crossed guys

  
**Group Chat: Time to Save A Relationship**

 _moon moon:_ well that couldnt have gone worse

 _teddy bear:_ fucking hell

 _james:_ I DIDNT KNOW IT COULD GET WORSE

 _james:_ IT GOT WORSE

 _teddy bear:_ james is currently wailing at a pitch i didnt know was possible for him to wail at

 _twin 1:_ ok guys stay calm

 _twin 1:_ scorp tutors me occasionally and i have said tutoring tomorrow, i'll speak to scorp then

 _james:_ LORCAN OUR SAVIOUR

 _twin 1:_ damn right 

 _twin 1:_ besides, they love each other right?

 _smol:_ of course

 _smol:_ they never let go of each other

 _twin 1:_ then they'll get through this 

 _twin 1:_ dont you worry

  
**Chat: teddy bear (Teddy Lupin)**  
  
_james:_ this is the worst thing that could ever and will ever and has ever happened  
  
_james:_ except for if we broke up  
  
_james:_ which we won't right???  
  
_teddy bear:_ ofc not  
  
_teddy bear:_ neither of our dads committed war crimes  
  
_james:_ i feel bad abt draco  
  
_james:_ maybe we could prove he's a good man  
  
_james:_ can u apparate me to his house??? i could burn it down and need to be rescued  
  
_teddy bear:_ we're not doing that  
  
_james:_ I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO  
  
  
**Chat: snakey mcsnakeface (Albus Potter)**  
  
_james:_ hi al  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ don't you dare send me a fucking meme right now  
  
_james:_ i was just gonna ask if ur ok  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ that actually makes me feel worse  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ even you're taking this seriously  
  
_james:_ oh god i can't do anything right

  
**Chat: future brother in law (Scorpius Malfoy)**  
  
_james:_ i really don't want to have to change ur name in the chat  
  
_future brother in law:_ Sorry to inconvenience you  
  
_james:_ where are u?? ik ur not in the dorm with al  
  
_future brother in law:_ Hugo let me into the hufflepuff common room  
  
_future brother in law:_ It's nice actually  
  
_future brother in law:_ The puffs are sweet  
  
_james:_ that's nice  
  
  
**Chat: moon moon (Lily Potter)**  
  
_james:_ could i pls have a hug from the most functional member of my family  
  
_moon moon:_ uncle charlie isn't here  
  
_james:_ i mean u lil  
  
_james:_ how are u so calm  
  
_james:_ ur not high are u  
  
_moon moon:_ i just know they'll sort it out  
  
_moon moon:_ they love each other way too much for this to get in the way  
  
_moon moon:_ and they're totally miserable without each other  
  
_james:_ are u on ur way with ur magic hugs  
  
_moon moon:_ and chocolate frogs!!  
  
_james:_ love u  
  
_moon moon:_ love u too  
  
  
**Chat: the mothership (Ginny Weasley)**  
  
_the mothership:_ What in the name of Dumbledore is going on with your brother?  
  
_the mothership:_ Why are all your friends so upset and why was he shouting at Scorpius?  
  
_james:_ it's a long story  
  
_james:_ they had a fight bc al said draco should answer for his war crimes  
  
_james:_ i guess it's not that long  
  
_the mothership:_ Well, fuck.  
  
_the mothership:_ Don't tell your father you saw that.  
  
_james:_ we need to save the relationship  
  
_the mothership:_ Don't you think you should stay out of it? They need to sort this out on their own.  
  
_james:_ have u met them  
  
_james:_ scorp would literally transfer to durmstrangs to avoid tension and al can't handle drama to save his life  
  
_the mothership:_ Today of all days.  
  
_james:_ sorry  


**Group Chat: Time to Save A Relationship**

_twin 1:_ so i talked to scorp

 _smol:_ and?????????????

 _twin 1:_ patience, young grasshopper

 _teddy bear:_ how do you even know abt that reference 

 _twin 1:_ ......mum

 _twin 1:_ anyways

 _twin 1:_ hes just really, really hurt

 _twin 1:_ and i think he feels responsible for what's said abt his father? and what happened to him in first year? 

 _twin 1:_ he thinks bc hes at hogwarts his dad continues to get a bad rep or whatever, which is so not true

 _twin 1:_ but its scorp logic 

 _teddy bear:_ poor guy 

 _twin 1:_ basically, al needs to apologise 

 _moon moon:_ this might be a good time to add i spoke to al

 _smol:_ the fuck? when

 _moon moon:_ this morning, i took him breakfast cause hes still being a little shit and refusing to leave his room

 _moon moon:_ but scorp said some hurtful things back apparently during that Very Loud fight they had

 _moon moon:_ shit about him never being half the man dad is, and al being a coward and stuff

 _moon moon:_ so they need to sit down and apologise and realise that the reason that they both said hurtful things was heightened emotions and a lack of understanding for the other's situation 

 _james:_ ....honestly lily i have never been prouder

 _james:_ so we lock them in a room together?

 _teddy bear:_ FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO

 _twin 1:_ yeah im with ted

 _twin 1:_ i told scorp to talk to albus anyways 

 _twin 1:_ give it time

 _james:_ TIME IS NOT SOMETHING I WANT TO GIVE

 _smol:_ james shut up

 _james:_ ok

 

**Group Chat: Time to Save A Relationship**

_teddy bear:_ ok dont be alarmed but scorp just went into the slytherin common room

 _james:_ teddy are u spying

 _teddy bear:_ ...no

 _james:_ a man after my own heart. literally. cause we're dating

 _teddy bear:_ stfu

 _teddy bear:_ but yeah so there's that

 _moon moon:_ A Good Sign

  
**Chat: teddy bear (Teddy Lupin)**

 _james:_ its been two hours

 _james:_ either one of them is dead or they made up

 _teddy bear:_ um

 _teddy bear:_ i dont think either of them are capable of cold blooded murder so im gonna go with the latter

  
**Chat: Unknown Number**  
  
_Unknown Number:_ Hi, you're Al's brother, right?  
  
_james:_ yeahhhh  
  
_james:_ who are u  
  
_Unknown Number:_ It's Craig, I'm in Slytherin in Al's year. Is it safe to go back in the dungeons yet?  
  
_Unknown Number:_ Only he's been brooding in there for ages and everyone from our dorm is staying in other places.  
  
_james:_ are u all scared of al  
  
_Unknown Number:_ He was making rainclouds.  
  
_james:_ that's kinda impressive acually  
  
_james:_ give me a min

  
**Chat: snakey mcsnakeface (Albus Potter)**  
  
_james:_ are u done with the scary rainclouds ur roommates are homeless  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ ah shit  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ are they gonna be bothered by some really gay shit  
  
_james:_ AAAAAAAAAAARGH  
  
_james:_ YOU MADE UP?????????????  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ yeah :)  
  
_james:_ THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE  
  
_james:_ PARTY PARTY PARTY  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ is that you running arround the quidditch pitch  
  
_james:_ CAN'T TALK BUSY RUNNING  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ wow

  
**Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD  
  
**_james has added future brother in law (Scorpius Malfoy)_  
  
_james:_ WE'RE GOOD  
  
_james:_ EVERYTHING'S GREAT  
  
_james:_ THE SUN IS SHINING  
  
_james:_ THE CLOUDS HAVE PARTED  
  
_james:_ SCORBUS IS REUNITED  
  
_the clever one:_ i know i can hear you from the astronomy tower  
  
_future brother in law:_ Thanks guys :D  
  
_teddy bear:_ this is so heartwarming  
  
_smol:_ i fucking hate this  
  
_smol:_ all of you calm down  
  
_snakey mcsnakeface:_ hugo just let us be  
  
_moon moon:_ ahhh this is so great  
  
_twin 1:_ u know that picture of the baby looking triumphant  
  
_twin 2:_ only you would describe it like that  
  
_twin 1:_ can someone post that bc if i google it then my lasts shred of self respect is gone  
  
_james:_  

 _twin 1:_ it didnt need to be that big jesus  
  
_twin 1:_  but thanks james  
  
_the clever one:_ i'm honestly so glad this got sorted out  
  
_future brother in law:_ Me too  
  
  
**Chat: snakey mcsnakeface (Albus Potter)**

 _james:_ sooooo

 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ im not giving you a chance to gossip

 _james:_ sad emoji

 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ but essentially we talked and established better communication is needed. so we're all good

 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ now go obsess over ur own boyfriend

 _james:_ albus i do that already

 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ true. jesus christ ok get a hobby

 _james:_ nah wink emoji

  
**Chat: Unknown Number**  
  
_Unknown Number:_ James?  
  
_Unknown Number:_ Hello? Can we go back in yet?

 _Unknown Number:_ ..I'll take the sounds of a giggling Scorpius as a yes, then.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> james: TEDDY
> 
> teddy bear: what
> 
> james: it's TIME
> 
> teddy bear: time for what 
> 
> james: we've been going out for a YEAR, you HEATHEN, don't tell me you forgot 
> 
> teddy bear: ....james thats next week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we thought this was over 
> 
>  
> 
> WE WERE WRONG

**Chat: teddy bear (Teddy Lupin)**  


_james:_ TEDDY  


_teddy bear:_ what  


_james:_ it's TIME  


_teddy bear:_ time for what

  
_james:_ we've been going out for a YEAR, you HEATHEN, don't tell me you forgot

  
_teddy bear:_ ....james thats next week  
  


_james:_ NO BUT  
  


_james:_ today marks the start of the Week I Spent Trying To Ask You Out, so we have to celebrate all week obvi  
  


_teddy bear:_ ur ridiculous  
  


_james:_ smh i'm going to enlighten the gc and see if they'll help me celebrate  
  


_teddy bear:_ james. its our anniversary. not the group's anniversary  
  


_james:_ teddy honey

   
 _james:_ we created the group baso

   
 _james:_ it kinda is

   
 _teddy bear:_ fairs

   
 **Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD**

   
 _james:_ good morning my dearest friends and family

   
 _james:_ THIS is a VERY SPECIAL week 

   
 _smol:_ its the week i stop checking the messages in this gc

   
 _future brother in law:_ What is it?

   
 _future brother in law:_ It’s not your birthday is it? 

   
 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ no and if he tries to tell you it is ignore him

   
 _james:_ N O it’s my anniversary week

   
 _teddy bear:_ james please

   
 _james:_ today marks the beginning of the week i spent desperately trying to ask ted out  
  
  
 _the clever one:_ so its also the anniversary of when i decided life was no longer worth living

   
 _moon moon:_ COLD  
  


_james:_ wow rose i am literally crying

   
 _the clever one:_ @teddy ?????

   
 _teddy bear:_ no he’s fine

   
 _twin 1:_ anniversary [anɪˈvəːs(ə)ri] noun: the date on which an event took place or an institution was founded in a previous year.

   
 _twin 2:_ anniversary [anɪˈvəːs(ə)ri] noun: the date on which an event took place or an institution was founded in a previous year.

   
 _james:_ DID YOU TWO SEND THAT AT THE EXACT SAME TIME

   
 _james:_ ARE YOU TOGETHER

   
 _smol:_ no lysander is with me

   
 _smol:_ this happens more than you might expect

   
 _the clever one:_ does anyone else kinda want to lock them in separate rooms and do experiments

   
 _moon moon:_ ROSE NO

   
 **Chat: snakey mcsnakeface (Albus Potter)**

   
 _james:_ ok i was lowkey joking in the gc but i acc want to do something special for ted this week

   
 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ sometimes i think you might not be as fucking sappy as some may believe

   
 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ but then i remember that u totally are

   
 _snakeymcsnakeface:_ hmm. take him out to hogsmead? idk dude you know ted best

   
 _james:_ yea true. hmMMm  
  


_snakey mcsnakeface:_ scorp actually just had a good idea - you could recreate one of the things u did to try and ask ted out bc they were W I L D

   
 _snakey mcsnakeface:_ tbh i just want to see you try and dye his food pink again  
  


_james:_ that is a GOOD IDEA  
  


_james:_ KISS SCORPIUS FOR ME  
  


_snakey mcsnakeface:_ um? no  
  


_james:_ fair enough  
  


**james has created the chat: HELP ME**   
  


**james has added: the clever one, snakey mcsnakeface, smol, future brother in law**   
  


_james:_ u have all been added to this bc you were a part of the plot to Get Teddy To Date Me last year  
  


_james:_ WE'RE RECREATING THIS SHIT  
  


_smol:_ for fucks sake i have practice exams this week  
  


_james:_ you're like 12 you can fail them  
  


_smol:_ JAMES  
  


_the clever one:_ tell my brother to fail his exams one more time and u get hexed my friend : )  
  


_james:_ ok just bc im scared of rosie u dont have to help  
  


_smol:_ nah it's just charms and herbology and im p good at both so i'll help  
  


_james:_ E X C E L L E NT  
  


_james:_ ok so y'all remember what happened right  
  


_the clever one:_ yes and i sort of wish i didnt  
  


_james:_ rosie. shh now  
  


_the clever one:_ smh  
  


_james:_ tomorrow, it begins    
  


_snakey mcsnakeface:_ i dont understand how we keep getting dragged into james' plans  
  


_james:_ this was ur plan snake boy  
  


_future brother in law:_ actually it was mine  
  


_james:_ same thing  
  


_james:_ LISTEN we need to figure out which of these we can recreate  
  


_the clever one:_ none of them  
  


_smol:_ lysander says that if the puff common room gets evacuated again he will kill you  
  


_james:_ that was a mistake  
  


_snakey mcsnakeface:_ idk what you thought would happen when you went in there with all those fancy fire spells  
  


_future brother in law:_ Spells that you really should have practiced  
  


_james:_ i thought he’d kiss me  
  


_snakey mcsnakeface:_ and did he????

   
 _james:_ no but he smiled and it made my heart dizzy  
  
  
 _future brother in law:_ Aww  
  


_smol:_ don’t encourage him  
  


_james:_ ok so that’s off the table  
  


_james:_ what did i do that was harmless  
  


_the clever one:_ very little  
  


_the clever one:_ but the nighttime picnic on the quidditch pitch was cute  
  


_future brother in law:_ What was that??  
  


_james:_ i told him i needed help with practice (LOL OBVIOUS TRICK I’M BRILLIANT) and when he got there i had loads of food and blankets and stuff  
  


_smol:_ as long as you don’t make us play the music again  
  


_james:_ nah i got my speakers fixed you guys are good  
  


_future brother in law:_ Why did you guys agree to that?  
  


_the clever one:_ james said he couldn’t do it without us there and we all wanted him to stop talking about teddy  
  


_james:_ fair enough  
  


_james:_ also it worked he said yes  
  


_future brother in law:_ I can’t believe I missed this  
  


_snakey mcsnakeface:_ yeah i was too awkward to bring you to anything romantic  
  


_future brother in law:_ I missed your singing  
  


_the clever one:_ you dodged a bullet  
  


_james:_ ok its settled im gonna do the picnic on the quidditch pitch  
  


_snakey mcsnakeface:_ dont get kicked off by prof longbottom again  
  


_snakey mcsnakeface:_ he'll tell dad and you'll get a bollocking  
  


_james:_ dammit yea can someone distract him with plants or smth  
  


_smol:_ you're lucky i appreciate you james  
  


_smol:_ i'll go ask him about the practice exam  
  


_james:_ HUGO YOU TREASURE  
  


_james:_ ok sorted  
  


**Chat: the clever one (Rose Weasley)**   
  


_the clever one:_ jamesy are you nervous  
  


_james:_ NO  
 

_the clever one:_ you so are  
  


_the clever one:_ YOU'RE ADORABLE  
 

_james:_ I'M NOT ADORABLE I'M ALMOST AN ADULT

   
 _the clever one:_ im gonna make you into a meme  
  


_james:_ rosie............. rosie no  
  


**Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD**   
  


_the clever one:_ petition to make james into a meme  
  


_the clever one:_ [screenshotjames.jpeg]  
  


_twin 1:_ why is he like this  
  


_james:_ ROSIE TEDDY IS IN THIS CHAT  
  


_teddy bear:_ um  
 

_the clever one:_ ..................shit  
  


_snakey mcsnakeface:_ i'm DECEASED rosie why have you turned into james  
  


_smol:_ ROSE  
  


_twin 1:_ james your bullshit is infectious  
  


_the clever one:_ ugh hugo tell our parents i love them  
  


_the clever one:_ and let my arithmancy professor know he was shit  
  


_smol:_ will do :(   
  


_james:_ happens to the best of us rosie  
  


_the clever one:_ don’t make this worse  
  


_teddy bear:_ this is so cute i’m crying  
  


_james:_ angry emoji  
  


_teddy bear_ : O H ok i get it  
  


_teddy bear:_ what are you guys all talking abt??? Rose didn’t send anything  
  


_future brother in law:_ That’s the spirit  
  


_snakey mcsnakeface:_ screenshotting all of this  
  


_twin 2:_ this is the highest form of entertainment in this groupchat  
  


_james:_ ya haven’t left tho have ya???  
  


_twin 2:_ nah  
  


_snakey mcsnakeface:_ there comes a time when you just have to embrace it and accept james for who he is  
  


_moon moon:_ but still rat him out to our parents when he does something dumb  
  


_james:_ lily i hate you you’re the worst  
  


_moon moon:_ screenshotted and forwarded  
  


_james:_ W O W  
  


**Chat: teddy bear (Teddy Lupin)**   
  


_james:_ sooooo  
  


_james:_ assumedly u know my Plan now   
  


_teddy bear:_ james,,,,,, jam e s,,, light of my life   
  


_teddy bear:_ it is FINE   
  


_teddy bear:_ it doesnt have to be a secret i still appreciate it  
  


_teddy bear:_ but also can it not be on the quidditch pitch i really do not want to get my head boy title Revoked   
  


_james:_ fair enough my dear. puff common room ok??  
  


_teddy bear:_ as long as u dont cause it to be evacuated again   
  


_james:_ OK THAT WAS ONE TIME   
  


**Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD**   
  


_james:_ it is all good guys  
  


_james:_ altho rosie watch out   
  


_teddy bear:_ rosie hes not gonna do anything otherwise he'll have me to deal with and also hes scared of u   
  


_james:_ T E D D Y  L U P I N   
  


_james:_ you TRAITOR   
  


_smol:_ james looks like hes about to explode lmao  
  


_smol:_ OK TEDDY GOT JAMES TO FORGIVE HIM IN A WAY THAT SHOULD NOT HAPPEN IN PUBLIC GUYS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE TUTORING ME   
  


_smol:_ Why Does This Always Happen   
  


_snakey mcsnakeface_ : this group chat, smh   
  


_future brother in law:_ It is pretty great though, isn't it  
  


_moon moon:_ damn right it is. love u fuckers   
  


_james:_ HAPPY EMOJI 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we may update again. who knows at this point?

**Author's Note:**

> come say hey on tumblr!
> 
> ella - http://hanschhen.tumblr.com/  
> tabby - http://mikewheelerprotectionsquad.tumblr.com/


End file.
